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Joke of the Day

"Tried to slide a cup towards me across the table. The cup fell over instead. I blame friction."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? *To get to the other side.*"

"Now accepting applications for a new best friend. Must be willing to let me put my fingers in your mouth. No Mexicans. No skanks. Por favor."

"Female Viagra Why has it taken so long to get a female version of Viagra? They couldn't get the women to agree on the color for the pill."

"Crayons are a lot like M&M's. All of the colors taste the same."

"Nickelback jokes are the Nickelback of jokes."

"Changed my outgoing voicemail message to ""You have reached the government."""

"5 birds are on a fence, you shoot one, how many are left. None they all flew away."

"My family insists i am addicted to drinking brake fluid. But i can stop any time i want."

"What did the golden male connector said when he plugged himself into the female Sorry, i couldn't resist"