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Joke of the Day

"Now accepting applications for a new best friend. Must be willing to let me put my fingers in your mouth. No Mexicans. No skanks. Por favor."

"How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? Idk, its too dark to tell them apart."

"Mr. Habbits overdosed on dick pills old habbits die hard"

"What's worse then ants in your pants? Uncles in your pants."

"I've been asking God to send me my soul-mate. Either he's not listening or we've got very different ideas on how she should look."

"Birth Control My wife and I had seven kids. We tried using birth control pills, but they kept falling out."

"The inventor of the doorbell OBVIOUSLY did not own a dog."

"I accidently mixed up some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover Ever since I've had a rash of good luck..."

"If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside? K9P"

"What do women and KFC have in common? One you are finished with the breast and the thighs, you still have a greasy box to put your bone"