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Joke of the Day

"I stripped naked after losing a bet yesterday. I'm now barred from my local bookies."

"my grade for geography will be out of this world."

"When people with bible quotes in their bio follow me...I don't know man. I think you're gonna have a bad time"

"Why did the math student fail his exam? He needed to sketch the sine and cuisine graphs but only knew how to do cos(-x)"

"I'm so thankful for my kids.If it weren't for them I'd never know what a cool sound my vacuum cleaner makes when it sucks up Rice Crispies."

"""A computer keyboard has more bacteria than a toilet seat."" I don't doubt it, given the shit my boss sends us in email."

"I live on the edge Her: cool It's scary Her: So sexy I almost fell once Her: Oh! You actually live.. My home insurance is so expensive"

"Sorry for shouting ""go go gadget personality"" while you were speaking. Please, continue."

"How can you tell if a groom is Polish? He would be the one with the clean bowling shirt."

"[outpost in the Arctic Circle] ""I'm quitting, here's my 2 week notice"" BOSS: The days last 6 months here ""Sonofa..."""