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Joke of the Day

"Guy one: ""Bro I missed the first world war..."" Guy two: ""Don't worry man, they made a sequel"" Guy three: ""I heard it bombed in Japan"""

"""Write this down."" [Moses grabs tablet] ""Thou shalt have no other Gods bef-"" ""Slow down, fella. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'."""

"What came first the egg or the Chicken? the egg, of course. Isn't that what I just said?"

"When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF? When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice."

"Being elected President wouldn't give me the level of self-satisfaction I have after a car speeds by me & I end up next to it at a red light"

"Q: What does Shakespeare say when he is angry with his dog? A: Out, out, damned Spot!"

"Why did the football team take the short bus to the game? They needed more downs."

"My Grandfathers dying words to me were, ""Are you still holding the ladder?""."

"Trump is still #1 in Polls after the Republican Debate Oh wait, wrong sub-forum."

"What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner? A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout."