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Joke of the Day

"If people post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face"

"A pen and a pencil race. Who won? The Pencil. He lead from start to finish."

"Question: What's the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand in a blender? Answer: There's always a 50/50 chance the blender isn't on"

"I don't smoke to be cool, I smoke so no one asks me to hold their baby."

"What would u do if u won the lotto? 10yo: Buy legos & a bigger house for u. 11yo: I'd buy a monkey. Going to be extra nice to my 10yo."

"Why is Darth Vader so famous? He was the first black man to admit he is the father."

"Missed connection: She wanted classy and I thought she said gassy..."

"Why did the bus stop? Because it saw the zebra crossing."

"How did David Bowie die? An American scared him to death."