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Joke of the Day

"What do you give a Greek man with a scratchcard? A coin to scratch it with."

"Whats the easiest way to annoy someone?"

"I've got a friend who is a structural engineer. He's always complaining about stress at work. EDIT: damn I wish I got karma for this post."

"*jumps from plane* *forgets parachute* *grabs onto flying squirrel* *lives to tell the tale*"

"I read a study about how sleep deprivation causes false memories ...I think"

"Somehow I missed my turn into my driveway and ended up at the pub few blocks over"

"You say drug dealer. I say astute, urban entrepreneur embracing the booming chemical escapism market."

"For my next trick I need a condom and a volunteer..."

"The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand."

"The only thing I learned in college is that I'm stupid."