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Joke of the Day

"I think the Tuskegee Airmen were incredibly brave... ...not only were they fighter pilots, they all had syphilis!"

"I ate 23k pounds of cream cheese yesterday. BUT, there were nuts in it and I yelled FITFAM the whole time so technically it was health food"

"For the holidays I've decided to stop making puns... I'm sure yule appreciate it."

"*smacks you with my coloring book* Wow. These coloring books really do work to relieve stress."

"No lie: When the plane landed I had 9 texts and my 13yr old had 343."

"The economy is so bad...."

"Someone told me they could beat me in a photoshop battle. Adobe'd it."

"Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking at their doors all the time."

"Are you ever going to use those Styrofoam plates? No, they're not biodegradable. Well throw them away then!"

"Hi Africa, it's America. A guy over here just ate 69 hotdogs in 10 minutes! How's everything going with you?"