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Joke of the Day

"Someone told me they could beat me in a photoshop battle. Adobe'd it."

"*accidentally likes a hot girl's photo of a sandwich from 3 years ago*"

"Did you hear about the newly sponsored gay NASCAR team? Its always in the rear of the field."

"Three guys walk into a bar... And their families are slowly torn apart by alcoholism. (Edit: typo pointed out by grammar Nazi)"

"My neighbor knocked on my door at 2 am this morning and said, ""Yo, I can't fcking sleep."" ""Well it's your lucky day,"" I said, ""I've got a party going on in here, come in."""

"What's the difference between a lonely person getting trolled and a wanted sexual offender? Ones a pranked Redditor, the other is a ranked predator."

"a termite walks into a bar And asks the waitress, is the bar tender here?"

"It's fun to smudge your lipstick and ruffle your hair before you come out of your bosses office, then give your work colleagues a wink."

"I used to be a plumber on the International Space Station Shit was outta this world."

"I asked for a chemistry joke, and he responded with this. [x-post from r/dadjokes] What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer? The taste."