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Joke of the Day

"My teacher asked me what a main feature of a greek tragedy was.... Apparently Bankruptcy was the wrong answer."

"It's impossible to touch your elbows behind your back. You just pushed your boobs towards me."

"Geology rocks but making holes in rocks is boring."

"What Do You Call A Rainy Spelling Bee? Alphabet Soup."

"My wife phoned me, panting and breathless. ""Where are you?"" she moaned. ""I'm at the pub."" I replied. She said, ""I think the baby's coming!"" I said, ""She won't get in, she's under-age."""

"Fuck you ""string"" cheese! Don't tell me how to eat you!"

"When a women says ""What?"" its not because she didn't hear you. She's just giving you a chance to change your answer"

"""Ten years ago, we had no Jobs, no Hope, and no Cash!"" --cemeteries"

"What is the job of a gentleman pimp? To Tally-hos!"

"What is Force equal to? Double penetration, with respect to time. (F=dp/dt) I'll see myself out"