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Joke of the Day

"Which aardvark holds the speed record? The nearsighted aardvark who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!"

"I told my girlfriend that I wanted to be cremated... I then told my family that I had no specific burial requests, just make sure that they don't have me cremated, no matter what."

"What starts with e, ends with e, and has one letter in it? An envelope."

"I rang up British Telecom, I said, ''I want to report a nuisance caller'', he said ''Not you again''."

"A friend is in jail and I can't help feeling partially responsible because I framed him for murder."

"My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true."

"In a recent survey 9 out of 10 bros actually chose Ho's over each other."

"Oh no! Playstation and Xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U."

"I have a fear of speedbumps But I'm slowly getting over it."

"Did you hear about the guy who was obsessed with building HOV lanes through mountains? Classic case of carpool tunnel syndrome"