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Joke of the Day

"Which aardvark holds the speed record? The nearsighted aardvark who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!"

"I thought I was electrocuted. But in a shocking twist, I survived. . . . Try the Veal."

"2 Irish queers Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael."

"Two drums and a symbol fall off a cliff... [www.instantrimshot.com](http://instantrimshot.com/classic/?sound=rimshot)"

"What did you get for your birthday? Another year!"

"I imagine the hardest part about being vegan is getting up before sunrise to milk all of those almonds."

"Why was Les miserable? He was French."

"I've never been in love but I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food."

"U.S found oil in foreign land soil and instantly reported serious shortage of democracy there"

"My dad called to ask if sending an email to the USA costs more. I told him a LOT more, better not risk it"