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Joke of the Day

"I just explained Google to my Granny. ""Pick anything to search for"" I told her. ""What about a nice cream pie?"" She asked. ""Except that."" I replied."

"I'm at that age where all of my sentences start like this one."

"What do you call a monkey holding a stick of dynamite? A Baboom!"

"Technically, ears can be ""Love Handles"" too."

"As a pot smoking narcissist, my life is all smoke and mirrors"

"My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Chirstmas and I got a Rolex. I guess they miss-understood when I said ""I wanna watch""."

"I thought the wife was joking... ...when she said she wanted to go to Switzerland for a Monkees concert. Then I saw her face...now I'm in Geneva"

"Jesus was a hippie He had sandals, long hair and he died hugging a tree"

"What does an Italian sound like walking through the rain? Dago wop wop wop"

"""Hello, is this anonymous NSA hotline?"" ""Yes, David, how can we help you?"""