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Joke of the Day

"What does the Starship Enterprise have in common with toilet paper? They both circle Ur-anus in search of cling- ons. Boom! Still got it."

"What is definition of indefinitely? When your balls are touching her ass, you are in-definatlly"

"Customer: Why is my hairline receding? Barber: It's not. Your scalp is advancing."

"I keep trying to think of a bone joke But none of them are humerous"

"Roses are red. My name is not Dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave."

"October's cool because you can buy 60 Snickers, 48 beers, a hockey mask, chainsaw, 30 leaf bags and the cashier won't even acknowledge it."

"Bonnie Tyler is performing a concert in Greece next month. She'll be singing her classic. I need a Euro."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but how they got in there I will never know."

"""Look on the bright side - at least there's more for us to drink with him gone"" is, apparently, not something one should say at a wake."

"I wish I could go back in time so I could remember where I was going with this update"