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Joke of the Day
"I did a stand up routine on fonts, but nobody laughed I'm a Comic, Sans the humor."
Next Joke
"I'm in so much trouble. My twitter crush found out about my boyfriend and now they're both on their way to tell my husbands."
"Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? For Drizzle."
"Donald Trump Finally something worse than Twilight"
"All my party planning skills revolve around exit strategies."
"What kind of luggage does a vulture bring on a plane? Carrion."
"Sausage and bacon in a frying pan. Sausage says to the bacon: ""It's pretty hot here."" Bacon says: ""Oh my god! A talking sausage !!"""
"What is the difference between a Ferrari and 4 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage"
"[after i confess to murder] COP: sarge? you gotta see this [shows interrogation video and sees my fingers crossed the whole time]"
"Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common? A: They are both substitute meats."