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Joke of the Day

"I'm not sure where Heisenberg is... But I know he's not with Pauli."

"The girl at the RyanAir check-in desk said, ""Window or aisle?"" I replied, ""Window or you'll what?"""

"What if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again"

"What did the German brat say to his father? You're the wurst!"

"Yo momma is so fat her butt is the butt of every joke."

"Did you hear about the dislexic, agnostic, insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog."

"Let's hope no one builds a convenience store inside a volcano because that doesn't seem like it would be convenient at all."

"I bought crappy music for 5 cents today, but the guy ripped me off. As he ran off, I yelled ""Hey, I want my nickel back!"""

"Me: I LOVE Pokemon Go! Him: Are you just collecting caterpillars and putting them in your purse?! Me:"

"What was Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WATAAAAAAAAAR"