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Joke of the Day

"How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework."

"My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it you can smell the ocean."

"What does kanye west eat for breakfast? an omlette you finish."

"Why are orphans unable to play baseball? They've never known what home is."

"I have a disorder where I see Tom Jones lyrics wherever I go But it's not unusual"

"An ad company friended me on facebook I guess you could say they wanted to ad me."

"""OUI!!"" -French Canadian on a water slide."

"No one ever taught me about erections. So I had to learn the hard way."

"If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her"

"What doesn't kill you just makes you injured and really pissed off."