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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a baby into a shoebox? A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw."

"Superwife! Gets pissed faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than your longest friendships. Leaps your decisions in a single bound."

"what do goats and humans have in common? Their kids are nice and tender."

"So I'm drinking in a bar... ... And the waitress yells 'help! Does anyone know CPR?!' So I say 'Hell I know the whole alphabet!' So everyone laughs. Except this one guy."

"Crazy ex girlfriends are like a box of chocolates They'll kill your dog"

"Fee Fie Foe Fum What is Fee Fie Foe Fum Fum Foe Fie Fee? Mike Tyson's inmate number."

"I've been having an affair with a film director's wife. Yesterday he caught us in bed together. He was furious. I said to him, ""Look, mate, don't make a scene."""

"I totally get why women are attracted to men who ride motorcycles. Like you increase your chances of getting to have two husbands by a lot."

"I swallowed two pieces of string last night and this morning they came out of my ass tied together I shit you knot"

"Why did the grinch cross the road? HE HAS TOO MUCH LONGER LEG !!!!"