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Joke of the Day

"Joan Rivers stopped breathing during cosmetic surgery and has passed after several days of home care. At least she died doing what she loved."

"Best Bang for your Buck! would make a great punchline for a joke about bambi and the intricate workings of an illegal woodland critter prostitution service"

"What's a redditor who makes pirate jokes' favorite letters? It could be R and the C, but they definitely aren't OC."

"I wanted a cat but the wife wanted a dog ... so we compromised and got a dog"

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload."

"What do you call an alcoholic eating grapes? Impatient."

"Did you guys hear about the new metal band playing at the winery this evening? They're called Grapes of Wrath."

"When Chuck Norris gives blood... ...he asks for a handgun and a bucket."

"I only eat in two situations: when I'm hungry and when I'm not hungry"

"I like how the dude in the next self-checkout lane is trying to disarm me with small talk like we don't both know this is a goddamn race"