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Joke of the Day

"Policeman: I've had my eye on you for some time now. Young Lady: That's funny. I thought you were arresting me for speeding."

"A young boy speeding way above speed limit. He got pulled over by a cop. Cop:""I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you."" Boy:""I know sir, I got here as fast as I could."""

"This could be the Alcohol talking but.... OMG you guys! The ALCOHOL is TALKING!"

"Why couldn't the NSA go outside? They were Snowden."

"What's the difference between a homeless and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four."

"If kittens tasted like pizza I would totally be a cat person."

"I got arrested for playing chess in the street.. I said its because im black isnt it"

"Ask a man if he's critiquing your work... Men Who Are Dating say: No, & compliment you. Single Men say: Yes Married Men: Try to hide"

"Your wife is locked out at the front door yelling at you and your dog is barking at the back door to be let in. Which do you let in first? Your dog, because it'll stop barking once you let it in."

"If dumping the last of your chips into the dip and eating it like cereal is wrong then I don't wanna be right."