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Joke of the Day

"What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray? They are just OFF-full"

"I buried a time capsule when I was 9. This is the year we are going to dig it up. I can't wait to see how big my puppy got."

"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Toucan."

"I read ""Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"" in 4 hours yesterday. I know it's only 6 words, but I was still impressed with myself."

"I thought I kept all my David Fincher DVDs safely, but... I lost The Game."

"I saw a fat guy with a ""M.O.B."" tattoo on his arm. I asked ""money over b*tches?"" He said ""No, McDonalds over Burger King."

"Is it normal for your right testicle to be larger than your other two?"

"Why do stop lights turn red? You would turn red too if you had to change in front of everybody."

"If I mess up at the beginning of a video game I just start over. This rule applies to life too. Used wrong exit on Fwy, calling it a day..."

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese."