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Joke of the Day

"OC from my 10 yr old son: Why do women like roses? Because they are pretty and hurt you."

"What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job? A Defective!"

"What's the difference between a dog and a fox? About 8 pints."

"told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco"

"I don't get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I'm in my underwear making a sandwich."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping on the bus? He woke up."

"What's the difference between a Chinese man and a lobster under a bus? Nothing. They're both crustacians."

"Some pretzels are totally weird... They're knot for eating."

"What is the difference between a sock and a camera? A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos."

"""Hey Pop"" pleaded Angelo ""can I go to the zoo to see the monkeys?"" ""What's the matter with you?"" asked his father. ""Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt Maud is here?"""