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Joke of the Day

"5-year-old: Can I borrow a dollar? Me: You don't have a job. How will you pay me back? 5: Me: 5: I'll borrow another dollar."

"I was so angry when I found my wife's profile on a dating website. That lying bitch isn't ""fun to be around""."

"WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind. On startup it performed a self diagnostic test. Turns out, it's cancer."

"Why do NBA players like poultry? Because they love to slam duck!"

"Why is the US terrible at league of legends? Because they can't protect their towers."

"An often unfunny joke where the punchline comes first. What is a Jeopardy joke?"

"So I got rid of my gym membership... just didn't work out "

"About a months ago I started to learn how to speak French. But then I gave up."

"What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home."

"I know my limits. I don't pay any attention to them, but I know them."