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Joke of the Day

"You know what the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is? A drunk doesn't have to go to all those fuckin meetings."

"No mushrooms, no chives. Bob Marley ordering a pizza."

"Why don't Rooster's wear underwear? Because their pecker's on their face"

"A piece of shit walks into the bar Its my dad. My dad is a piece of shit"

"Today sucked so much it featured a guest verse from Pitbull"

"What's the worst way to lose your job? By firing squad."

"What did the cell say when its sister stepped on it's toe? Mitosis!"

"There are 5 things I really hate: 1) Racists. 2) People who can't spell. 3) Math 4) Whyte people"

"CNN: We're not sure but we'll report it anyway."

"What did the pre-school math teacher have to say about her students? Every single one counts."