146370

Joke of the Day

"I've always been a B+ student. It's in my blood."

"A partnerswitch? How about a partnerswitch? I'll bang your wife and give you a handjob after!"

"I wonder if Jeremy Irons ever quietly laughs to himself while he's ironing."

"My wife calls my penis Nicolas Cage It's highly temperamental and tends to go off for no reason at all."

"What's the difference between a Therapist and The Rapist? Just a little space"

"They should make a medal for anyone who uses a whole tube of chapstick before losing it."

"DISH FATHER: You can NEVER see that spoon again! *daughter dish starts sobbing* [outside the window, Spoon is thinking] we leave tonight"

"What do you call a Pakistani music group? A tali-band."

"A woman got wooden breast implants yesterday. It would be funny if this joke had a punch line, wooden tit?"

"A woman just asked me what 'mansplaining' is. I think it's a trap. We've been staring at each other in silence for nearly an hour now."