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Joke of the Day

"What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it? It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."

"Is Google male or female? Female because she won't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion"

"Did you hear about the great Alphabet war of 1938? The last letter of the alphabet declared war on all the not-zs."

"I couldn't work at a Rainforest Cafe without yelling ""You know where you are? You're in the jungle baby! You're gonna die!"""

"What do you get when you mix up literature and alcohol? Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway"

"""and god said LET THERE BE BUTTS and there were butts nice warm jiggly butts everywhere on every human"" - me 2:16"

"What do you call an American linguist, philosopher, cognitive scientist, logician, political commentator, social justice activist, and anarcho-syndicalist advocate who doesn't eat ham? NO-HAM CHOMPSKY"

"What do black Eskimos live in? A nigloo."

"My Lesbian neighbours got me a rolex for my birthday I think they misunderstood when I said, "" I wanna watch"""

"My mom bought a new vacuum, she says it really sucks."