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Joke of the Day

"How can you avoid falling hair? Get out of the way."

"If stray cats are free, why is Chinese food so expensive?"

"I just now realized the guy at the urinal that complemented my watch might not have actually just been looking at my watch."

"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Ahh, those were the days..."

"Man shall not live on bread alone. Yet it is easy to forget this at restaurants and end up full before the appetizer."

"What's the deal with Drake, first he was an actor now a rapper? Must have been all degrassi was smoking. I'll let myself out."

"11/9 The day America terrorized themselves."

"How do you get the GOP to support universal healthcare? Make it for *White* people only."

"Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it."

"Little Johnny (x-post /r/AntiJokes) The Mailman saw Little Johnny on the side of the street with an old coffee can. Mailman: What have you got in that can there? Johnny: dogshit Mailman: what the fuck"