51266

Joke of the Day

"robber: give me the money! *points gun at cashier* cashier: wait thats just a blow dryer nervous snowman patron: please just do as he says!"

"My wife's leaving me because I'm too arrogant. I told her to close the door on her way back in."

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. ... Wait."

"Why do people get addicted to meth? Because they didn't think of the aftermeth."

"Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back."

"Ever been to a Canadian mosh pit? ""Oh sorry eh! Oh! Sorry! Sorry, eh? Sorry? So sorry! Oh! Oh no.... Sorry, eh?"""

"If Jesus invested $1 dollar when He was alive, it would have grown into $100 trillion dollars today. But that's the thing about Jesus, He didn't invest, He saved."

"Getting colagen injections in my lips next week 'cause, you know, 'tis the season to be Jolie."

"A bigoted lumberjack controversially said ""All trees are only fit for furniture."" He was accused of mahogany. ^^^^Never ^^^^saw ^^^^this ^^^^before, ^^^^does ^^^^it ^^^^make ^^^^it ^^^^OC"

"my wife says she's leaving me for being to arrogant. I said don't slam the door on your way back in."