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Joke of the Day

"I just learned that you can get drunk from Kangaroo meat! I'm pretty sure it has something to do with all the hops."

"I suspected my marriage was in trouble when I'd meet my husband for dinner then we would both race home to make out with the babysitter."

"What do you call a chinese woman with a food processor on her head? Brenda."

"My uncle found the g-spot once... ...he tells people he lost those two fingers in the war."

"""Get a womb!"" - me when I see two newborns making out."

"I read Sci Fi the same way that I read recipes I skip to the end and think, ""that'll never happen"""

"If God wanted you in church all morning, why did he invent fun?"

"Kissing the back of someone's neck is a sensuous thing to do. Unless it's a stranger in a queue in Primark."

"My jokes are so dark Whenever i use it it starts picking cotton."

"My 3-year-old told me she covered the house in ""fairy dust"" She better mean cocaine because if it's glitter somebody's going to be homeless"