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Joke of the Day

"A banker, a Greek and a German sit on a table ... There are ten cookies on that table. The banker takes nine and tells the German: ""Watch out, the Greek so going to steal your cookie!"""

"Ever have one of those days where you just don't feel like being at work? I've been having one of those days for two fucking years now."

"What branch of the military did the hipster join? The Salvation Army."

"Probably not a good sign when my favorite thing to do in the whole world is be unconscious for 8 hours"

"At my age getting lucky means having the house to myself"

"This is my stepladder... I never knew my real ladder."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them."

"Turned off my lights for ""earth hour"". I've never had so many other cars honking at me."

"It must be 1929... Because my econ homework has me in a severe depression."

"Why did Sauron buy the sedan instead of the coupe? More doors."