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Joke of the Day

"Someone asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" isn't the right answer."

"I owe my life to Justin Beiber. I was in coma for two years, until one of the nurses played one of his songs on the radio in my room. I had to wake up to turn it off."

"It's said that if you look directly into Chuck Norris' eyes you can see the beginning and end of all things...... but no one has had the balls to try."

"If God is your co-pilot - swap seats."

"I hate Russian dolls... They're so full of themselves."

"Why can't Oedipus swear? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth."

"I recently told my girlfriend about removing the cookies and site data because it slows down the browser speed... Now she understands why I delete the browsing history everyday."

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like ""hey thanks"" and I'm like ""I'm just happy to be a part of this nice community"""

"There was a blackout in the streets of Houston yesterday... Don't worry, the police have everything under control..... they shot him."

"From 3am to 6am this morning I wanted to kill myself, but now I want some French toast. #cravings"