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Joke of the Day

"Someone asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" isn't the right answer."

"Why do sandwiches never have kids? Because they always turn out in-bread."

"What do you call a person who farts in private? A private tutor"

"I'm not single and I'm not committed... I'm simply on reserve for the one who deserves..."

"What do paedophiles and tortoises have in common? They both want to get there before the hair"

"A teacher and the students Teacher: What does the chicken give you? Students: eggs! Teacher: What does the pig give you? Students: bacon! Teacher: What does the cow give you? Students: homework!"

"CW: Have you had 5 guys? Me: *blank stare* That's kinda personal don't ya think? And that's when I found out it's the name of a burger joint"

"I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head."

"A guy walks into a burn ward... and he says ""hey, you with the face!"""

"Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince."