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Joke of the Day
"A guy walks into a burn ward... and he says ""hey, you with the face!"""
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"When a roofer works pro bono... It's on the house"
"What keyboard shortcut do the elderly have the most trouble with? Ctrl+P"
"i wonder wat time is *looks at wrist only to realize i am not wearig a watch* ah yes, i had forgoten that time is but a invisible everything"
"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards."
"Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together "
"A photon walks into a hotel..... ..... And is asked if he needs help with his luggage. The photon replies, ""No thanks, I'm traveling light."""
"Zombies never bite hipsters. They taste fine. We just don't want to spend eternity hearing them say they became undead before it was cool."
"A pianist is currently on trial. He was accused of fingering A Minor."
"I was eating at a nice dinner last night and realized that we spend a lot of money on something that is just going to turn to shit. But enough about my romantic relationships."