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Joke of the Day

"Beetlejuice 2 has been announced and is bringing Keaton back but without Winona... They were afraid she'd steal the show. /me drops the mic and walks off stage waving a pop tart"

"Ever hear the one about the welfare moocher who used his government payoffs to live on lobster and steak? It was Donald Trump."

"Why did the woman divorce the grape? She was tired of raisin' kids."

"[nsfw] the ultimate trifecta of dirty joke so, i was going down on my grandma, and i started to taste donkey semen, i looked up at my dear sweet grandma and said, "" jeez, grandma thats how you died?"""

"Let's say weed does make me dumber. Then you should be thanking me for levelling the playing field."

"When a guy wearing shorts and sandals to a bar is picking out songs on the jukebox, it's going to end badly for everyone."

"what's the difference between BMW and a Porky Pine? The porky Pine has the prick on the outside."

"This guy at work always looks down my blouse. So im going to put a piece of popcorn in there to see if he points it out."

"REALTOR: It's a great neighborhood. Wonderful schools- ME: And the Pokemon? REALTOR: .... sigh. Mostly Pidgeys ME: I think I've seen enough."

"bollywood horror movies are just bipasha basu doing a item no. with a third world actor"