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Joke of the Day

"Ever hear the one about the welfare moocher who used his government payoffs to live on lobster and steak? It was Donald Trump."

"What's the best thing about having insomnia? Only one nights sleep til Christmas!"

"Damn, girl, are you Terms and Conditions? Because I just want to blindly agree to whatever you say."

"your momma so stupid she got locked in a groceiry store and starved."

"Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?"

"What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra? Go Bach and get a Handel on it!"

"No need to write it down, I've a photographic memory *looks hard af* *pukes polaroid*"

"No matter how ugly, no matter how fat, you'd still sleep with her. Who is she? OP's mom"

"Where do women in the WNBA shop? It's definitely not at dicks."

"Wife: Why is there a bouncy castle in the garden? Me out of breath with no shoes on: I'm not sure."