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Joke of the Day
"What is the difference between an Israeli and an Israelite? Israelites contain about 20% less fat."
Next Joke
"I hate that feeling when your iPod earbud accidentally gets ripped out of your ear and you want to murder someone with a hammer."
"INTERVIEWER: your resume says that you take things too literally ME: how the hell did my resume say that?"
"What do 9 out of 10 people love? Gang rape"
"One time a cute guy I liked mooned his friend as a prank but there was a tiny piece of toilet paper in his crack & it haunts me to this day"
"What is the fear of prostitutes called? Ho-bia"
"I wish I had half the determination and persistence of Adobe reader updater."
"call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won't remember... Call her fat once and she will never forget. Thats because elephants never forget =)"
"Going to take my girlfriend out on a date to a Jewish restaurant. Hopefully it'll bring us kosher."
"Always be yourself, unless you can be a giraffe. Then, be a giraffe."