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Joke of the Day
"[me as a poltergeist] *putting forks in the spoon section of the cutlery drawer* ooooOooOooooo"
Next Joke
"How do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree"
"A redhead gets a job He is now a baker, probably a gingerbread man."
"Her: Put your finger on it! Me: Like this? Her: Oh yeah, I can finish now! -Making the perfect bow"
"Netflix documentaries convinced me I should be vegan. So I did what any American would do. I bought some bacon and canceled Netflix."
"Redundancy: An airbag in a politician's car!"
"16 sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by batman"
"Where does Arnie sit at the movies? Aisle B - Back."
"What did Stella McCartney say during a threesome? Come together Right now Over me"
"Tell the guy at the first drive-thru window that you want the guy at the second window to throw your food into the car without you stopping."