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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the sequel to ""The Thing""? Turns out one of Jackie Chan's Relatives is directing it. His Uncle, I believe. &nbsp; He's calling it ""ONE *MORE* THING!"""

"Q: Why did the wrestlers have to fight in the dark? A: Their match wouldn't light."

"My new record in a 100 m sprint Is 52 meters."

"Note for Santa Dear Santa, Please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't mix those two up like you did last year. Thanks."

"I've had enough of my girlfriend's obsession with auctions. So I bid her farewell."

"Which dinosaur walks with a limp? a Myfeetasaur"

"""There are Nutella stains all over the silverware."" It can't be me. I lick them before I keep them inside."

"The creator of the 'knock knock' joke was awarded a prize today Unfortunately he wasn't in to receive it"

"Five American states that vaguely resemble Indian cuisine when spelled backwards: Aksala, Nogero, Sasnakra, Ohadi, Hatu."

"A man hobbles into a McDonald's and walks up to the counter. He proceeds to place his order of 1 hot fudge sundae. The cashier asks him ""Crushed nuts?"". ""No."" He says, ""Hip replacement""."