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Joke of the Day

"What's your stand on renewable energy? I don't know about you, but I'm a Big Fan."

"Every chick magazine ever: You're beautiful and are perfect just the way you are! How to loose ten pounds in ten days you fat, ugly cow."

"What's the difference between the stock market and women? With the stock market you can only lose when you pull out."

"Why do you think your report should be on the net? Because my marks are all 'E's."

"[bald eagles exchanging gifts] *holds out gift* You didn't get me a toupee again, did you? -Uhh... *slowly pulls gift back*"

"I wish Shaq named his daughter Shaqira."

"Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.. That's not a miracle. That's tapas."

"I bought an iPod from El Chapo... But now I have to keep jailbreaking it."

"If a child molester and an illegal immigrant get in a fight... Is it Alien vs. Predator?"

"How Many Business Analysts Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb? None. The light bulb shall never burn out. (OK. It's more cathartic than funny...)"