229328

Joke of the Day

"I call my penis the Trojan horse It looks harmless, but then it gets inside you and completely destroys you."

"Avoid confrontations in the work place by slashing your coworker's tires while they sleep."

"Why were the new mittens so flirty? Young gloves."

"They say I have cancer and Alzheimers... But at least I don't have cancer!"

"When you watch the movie Titanic, it's just the Anic. Because they edit the tits out."

"I had a dream I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram I was - like - 0MG."

"Why shouldn't you get a Bachelors in Science? Because it's BS. Yea that was bullshit. Fine I'll cut it out.."

"I ran out of toilet paper at Hartsfield/ATL. Then I remembered my mom had told me I could use pages from a book in a pinch. I gotta say...it's really hard to wipe with an e-book."

"Did anyone see the lunar eclipse tonight? It was right by 'your anus'."

"Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?"