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Joke of the Day

"I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests."

"on the ISS... what did the American Astronaut say to the Cosmonaut? What did the American Astronaut say to the fast moving Cosmonaut? Stop Russian around."

"Funny how I used to see human features in things like electrical sockets, or clouds, or my ex."

"Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up? He had a lot of aspirations."

"I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out."

"Once you've seen one shopping center... You've seen a mall."

"What is Madonna's least favourite band? Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly"

"Why did the Bloody Mary need a restraining order? Celery Stalks."

"What's the difference between a colostomy bag and Donald Trump? A colostomy bag gets emptied once in a while where Trump is always full of shit."

"How come in math we are always solving for x? Because with my ex, I'm always trying to solve for why."