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Joke of the Day

"I was going to exercise until I remembered the story about that healthy guy that died that one time."

"Like my Father always said, ""I put my ass kicking boots on every morning"" ""Then after a long day of getting my ass kicked, I come home from work and take them off."""

"if you don't have hair, will your head skin turn gray when you get old"

"Just gargled mouthwash all over my shirt. I'd be a horrible homosexual."

"The common phrase to express somethings simplicity is ""its not rocket science..."". But what do rocket scientists say to each other? ""Come on Doug, its not.....sex."""

"What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't Helium, Barium."

"Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like BBs, rub one ball & everything moves."

"How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife? Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you."

"We could power our entire office with the wind produced from my constant sighing."

"How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. We don't address hardware issues."