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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee? Tony."

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!"

"Statistically speaking, 9 out of 10 people enjoy a gang rape."

"Pretty cool that there's no law saying you can't name your kid Squidward if you want."

"I'm not paying any more child support. His posture hasn't improved at all."

"Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

"Went to the Planetarium to do some stargazing but I didn't see one celebrity. Rip-off!"

"A man is getting head from his wife... ...and tells her that he wants to cum in her ear. ""I'll go deaf!"" she says. ""Yeah? Well I always cum in your mouth, but you never shut the fuck up!"""

"There are poor, helpless kids in Africa who really need our help. But there's also kids with machine guns so I'm not going."

"people say they're ""over the moon"" when they're happy, but it's a lie; the moon is one of those things you will never truly get over"