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Joke of the Day

"India's population before the blackout was 1.2 Billion....After the blackout it's supposed to grow by another 300 million:)"

"Sure, your app can send me push notifications. Just give me your home number so I can call you to let you know I got them."

"If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another how many dollars would you have? One dollar. You don't know your arithmetic. You don't know my father !"

"What do you get if you cross a poodle with katey perry? 7 trillion dead toddlers.. LMFAOOOOOOOO"

"Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife's is around $643.27. Apparently"

"What sound did the slot machine make when the Chinese person won the jackpot? Cha-chink!"

"In my opinion it's the aborted fetus' fault for not carrying a gun for protection"

"If my third grade teacher hasn't taught me that little rhyme about spelling.... I'd still be spelling cieling and nieghbor wrong."

"April Fools Day is ONLY for singles. The married have their anniversary ."

"How do you get a hippy chick pregnant? Cum on her birkenstocks and let the flies do the rest"