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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on."

"""Why was the Amish girl excommunicated ? Too Mennonite."" - Hitchens"

"From my 7-year-old: What type of phone does a hawk use? A hawkie talkie."

"I like my girls like my whiskey Aged 18 years and single"

"A byte walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. The bartender asks, ""Rough day?"". ""parity error"" replies the byte. ""Yeah, you looked a bit off..."""

"I bet cannibals were really disappointed by elbow macaroni."

"when there was one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I tripped and fell but Jesus didn't see and he kept walking for a little bit"

"JK Rowling has written an explanation on Pottermore for a spell that makes your legs fall off It's called the Pistorious spell."

"What did Jeffrey Dahmer sing as he went to the refrigerator? My Bologna had a first name."

"Smoke alarms are really just toast alarms."