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Joke of the Day

"Why is that Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for? Because he's always standing by The Edge."

"The wife wants me to be a doctor in our sex role playing. So I guess I'll make her wait an hour, then send her to a specialist"

"I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to ""Justin Bieber - Baby"" Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it."

"Tomorrow I'm gonna chase someone...like really run after them..screaming and everything."

"What is the TSA's favorite movie? Inspection."

"With elections coming soon, my coworker asked me who my favorite president was. I said JFK, because he's so open-minded."

"Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!"

"How do you piss off winnie the pooh? Stick 2 fingers in his honey."

"Midget scammer So there was a midget scammer who was in a prison break. I watched him climb up and down the wall - it was a little condescending."

"How do you tell which potato on the street corner is the prostitute? It has a sticker on it that says ""Idaho."""