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Joke of the Day
"Women are like the Call of Duty games. If you play them for too long, you'll end up alone."
Next Joke
"*renames my kids South and East, and leaves them on Kanye's doorstep*"
"Interview tip: maintain eye contact. If they try to look at documents, put your head between them and the documents."
"My friend told me I didn't understand irony Which was ironic considering we were stood at a bus stop at the time."
"Who was the roundest knight in King Arthur's court? Circumference."
"Wife told me she wants to have sex in the back of the car... She asked me if I could drive :-( Credit to Legend Rodney Dangerfield"
"A thug holds a gun to a dictionarys head and asks "" final words?"" the dictionary says ""zyzzyva."""
"Customer: There's something wrong with my hot dogs. Waiter: Sorry I'm a waiter not a veterinarian."
"What's the opposite of a cock blocker? A Rooster Booster"
"Did you hear about the pessimist who hates sausage? They say he fears the wurst"