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Joke of the Day

"A dog, a blonde, a rabbi, a priest, a nun, Helen Keller, a black guy, and a horse walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""what's this, some kind of joke?"""

"[Doctor's Office] Seal: My flippers are sore. Killer Whale Doctor: Hmm interesting, swim a little closer into my jaws- I MEAN ONTO THE TABLE"

"Sometimes I go on WebMD to see what I'm currently dying of."

"[being strapped to a medieval torture table] ""tbh not what I thought you meant when you said you were going to show me a nice rack"""

"What type of sound system does a Saab have? A Saab-woofer :)"

"What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween? I'll be Bach."

"Whats the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them"

"If you're a germaphobe and you know it... wash your hands!"

"You say ""tomato,"" I say ""tomato,"" and there, we've written our own wedding vows"

"What did the cannibal comedian say as he battled through his steak dinner? Tough crowd."