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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Jimmy Fallon and myself? I can get through a Jimmy Fallon joke without laughing."

"Why don't progressives go to the dentist? Because dentists like everything straight and white."

"hate these fake ""breakfast lovers"" who say they love breakfast but then later in the afternoon you see them sneakin a lunch"

"Helen Keller wouldnt know what a dick was if it hit her in the face."

"*I throw my hat into the ring* Oh you wanna fight do ya? *I throw my pants into the ring* Pal this is gettin' weird *I throw my skin into th"

"Why did the boy drip his ice cream? He got hit by a bus."

"A black man, a lawyer, an illegal immigrant, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar The bartender asks: ""What will it be, Mr. President?"""

"My brother and I ran out of protein powder. I turned to him and said, ""no whey....."" (true story)"

"This is a dark one! A black baby, pickle and a blender. what do you get? A Nickle!"

"I read in the paper about a hooker starting her own business.... They said that she had a good soft-opening."