131220

Joke of the Day

"hate these fake ""breakfast lovers"" who say they love breakfast but then later in the afternoon you see them sneakin a lunch"

"Why did the one-eyed pirate keep running aground? No depth perception."

"I've started a charity for donating horchata-flavored espressos to deaf Americans in Thailand. It's called the ""ASL Rice Phuket Allonge"""

"i was singing a christmas song I was Singing a Christmas song and I replaced mistel with camel"

"Hungarian mom yells at her son: ""Take off your underwear... ...and put it back on properly: Yellow front, brown back."""

"A Jewish kid asks his father for sixty dollars. The father replies ""FIFTY DOLLARS??? What the heck to do you need forty dollars for??"""

"Why did the dolphin kill himself? A lack of porpoise."

"So they're making a documentary on Canadian wildlife. I hear it's going to be a mooseterpiece."

"A young girl asks her father. A young girl asks her father ""Daddy what does the word slut mean?"" Father ""Sweetie don't use that word, your mother will be offended"""

"You're not really a parent until you swat blindly into the backseat, hoping to connect with a kid."