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Joke of the Day
"How do you confuse a gay person? 7"
Next Joke
"""Ok folks who ordered the macaroni & bees?"" ""you mean cheese?"" [waiter struggling to keep bowl covered] ""that does make more sense actually"""
"How can a can you double your money? By folding it in half."
"Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times... Then I pick up the block, and put it back in the toy box."
"When my wife and I have a disagreement, I always have the last word... usually it's, ""Yes Dear"""
"When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men he said he couldn't increase my pay but if I told him the names of the three men he'd fire them."
"*robbing a bank with a chainsaw* Me: GIVE ME ALL Y- Teller: WHAT M: GIVE ME THE MONEY T: SIR YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT IN HERE M: WHAT"
"[identifying body] Cop: this him? Me: yea Cop: he's burnt pretty bad huh Me: yea Cop: ... Me: ... Cop: prolly get a discount on cremation"
"Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you're nuts."
"Probably the hardest part of being an adult is trying to come up with excuses to tell your friends about why you go to bed so early."