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Joke of the Day

"Went to watch a blonde comedian And all she kept doing was bending down and looking at the floor. I guess she was just looking for some laughs."

"I got burned by a piece of metal on my pants when I pulled them from the dryer. It was a hot button issue."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alvin ! Alvin who ! Alvin zis competition - just vait and see!"

"My Kit-Kat bar got stuck in the vending machine at work... ...gimme a break..."

"I think some drugs should be legalized... but cocaine is where I draw the line."

"Girl, are you a useless, obscure and unimportant punctuation mark? Because I want to interro-bang you"

"Twitter Taking the everyday boring shit and putting a much better funny twist on it."

"On the Beauty of Nordic Women... Question: Why are Nordic women so beautiful? Answer: Well, the Vikings didn't kidnap the ugly ones..."

"Pants are for people with something to hide."

"There was this one time I discovered a time machine... I still remember it like it was tomorrow."