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Joke of the Day

"New drinking game! Draw a card. If it's black take a shot. I call it the Ferguson"

"Life on earth is expensive, but it does include an annual free trip around the sun"

"If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them."

"God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn't possibly have grown legs and walked away Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this"

"What's the difference between a pedant and a sadist? A sadist is honest about his intentions. ____________________________________ That probably wasn't funny, but what do I know?"

"How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don't show it to her."

"johnny depp looks like the person who does hair and make up for johnny depp"

"I fucked myself last night. I wanted to get first-hand experience."

"The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, ""Move to the passenger seat""."

"I heard y'all don't like bird jokes This could get a little hawkward"