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Joke of the Day
"New drinking game! Draw a card. If it's black take a shot. I call it the Ferguson"
Next Joke
"If I had a time machine, I'd go back & mess with myself. I'd delete and retweet frog my tweets monkey with random words giraffe inserted."
"Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence... ...because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine."
"I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. ...Or maybe she said ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening..."
"What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed? Joint Family."
"What's a pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Sir, We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ..."
"[magician rolls over in bed] ""Last night was amazing"" Woman: Magical. Make me breakfast? Magician: [waves magic wand, eats her]"
"""YOLNT"" -Cats"
"What do a Russian pimp call his prostitute? Slobberonmadickyabitch"
"You call it lightning. I call it targeted airstrikes."